The Exploits of Yosuke Hanamura
by Grey Soldier
Summary: Follow up to The Twitter of Yosuke Hanamura. When Yosuke discovers that Souji is a six-timing womanizer, the good in him decides to do something about it. Hint of Yosuke/Rise.


The Exploits of Yosuke Hanamura

Or

Yosuke's AWESOME Story of How He Hooked Up With an Idol

Yosuke stared at his keyboard and bit his lip at the impending shit-storm that was clearly coming his way. Apparently, his best friend was two-timing Rise Kujikawa, the super-awesome pop star with Chie Satonaka, who was best described as… well… not.

To summarize, Yosuke Hanamura found himself involved in a conflict that involved Souji Seta, Rise Kujikawa and Chie Satonaka. It was a classic love triangle, unless you factored in Yosuke (Who liked Rise, and Chie, but not as much as he liked Rise), and then it became a square. And come to think of it, Yukiko and Ai had seemed pretty friendly with Souji either, so Yosuke couldn't rule out the somewhat painful possibility that it was a love hexagon. _Man, this is a crappy situation!_

The brunette stared spitefully at the ceiling. _Think about what's good in this situation, Yosuke,_ Susano-o rang.

_ You get to talk to Rise. Also she's not a hooker!_

A grin played over his lips, partially at his prospects, and partially at the fact that he had restrained that comment to his head. (Susano-o had smirked a little at his comment.) Today might actually turn out to be a whole lot better than he bargained, if he played his cards right. He stared at his sheathed knives in the closet and shrugged, deciding to hide them inside his coat in case things got extreme and Souji or one of his harem decided to push him inside a TV.

Yosuke biked over to Souzai Daigaku, an immense feeling of dread washing over him. What he did today was going to determine so very much about the upcoming three months, chiefly among the stakes were his chances of ever going out with a girl.

Rise was less than her usual chipper self. A pout was clear on her face and her pigtails looked as though she had been pulling her hair out. In addition to this, her eyes were red, likely from crying. Yosuke had never seen her looking worse, and that included her shadow. _Though that was kinda ho- _Yosuke mentally slapped himself.

"Uh, hi, Rise," Yosuke stammered out. Rise cast a glance and went back to looking depressed. "Um, Rise-chan, I don't really know how to say this, but, uh…" Yosuke said, staring a hole into the table in front of him.

A sob. Rise was crying. "Rise-chan, I'm sorry, but I don't think Souji is entirely what he makes himself out to be," Yosuke managed to say.

Rise sobbed, folding her arms on the table and wept into her arms. Yosuke had absolutely no idea what to do at this point. "Um, Rise… I don't think this is the best place to talk about this."

She nodded, sniffling. The two went to Rise's house, which was, after all, right there. Yosuke awkwardly stood in her living room as Rise cried her eyes out until Rise muttered something about taking a shower and went upstairs. The water turned on, and Yosuke could still hear sobbing noises coming from upstairs. It was then that Yosuke got a call.

"YOSUKE HANAMURA WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU PLAYING AT?" boomed the voice of Chie Satonaka over Yosuke's mobile. Yosuke held the phone away from his own ear to lessen the ear-splitting volume.

Yosuke was honestly confused. "What are you talking about, Chie?"

"You know damn well what I'm talking about!" she screeched. "You posted on your Twitter that Rise likes Souji as well!"

"You watch my Twitter?" Yosuke shouted in surprise.

"Whatever! That's not the point!" Chie shouted. "The point is you knew Souji! You probably knew that he was like this!"

"Chie, the guy was practically mute!" Yosuke retorted. "Trying to get anything out of him is like trying to get juice from a rock!"

Chie made a series of exasperated grunting noises and then said in a low and murderous voice, "Yosuke Hanamura, this is your fault and I will not rest until I find you and kill you with my own two feet!"

Yosuke swallowed a knot in his throat as the cell phone made a series of monotonous beeps. "That… sucked…"

Rise walked downstairs, each footstep heavier than the last. "Hi Yosuke."

"I'm guessing you don't want to talk about it?"

"Yup."

"That's fine with me. I've got more problems than this," Yosuke said, grimacing.

Rise cocked her head to one side in confusion.

"Basically, Chie wants to kill me cause it's all somehow my fault," Yosuke explained.

"But it's not your fault, Yosuke-senpai!" Rise exclaimed.

The boy sighed and slumped into the sofa in Rise's living room. "Does that matter? Right now, you're hurting cause Souji is a dick. And that doesn't make me happy," said Yosuke. _Real smooth, Yosuke, _he thought sarcastically, also telling Susano-o to shut up before he could even say anything.

Rise blushed faintly, but the vaguely romantic moment between them was interrupted by a furious rapping on Rise's door.

"Yosuke Hanamura, I know you're in there!"

Yosuke looked as though the Grim Reaper himself had arrived at the front door with tea and crumpets- which brought his mind back to this one extremely weird time in the Void Quest, but that wasn't the point. Rise put a finger to her lips in a motion for Yosuke to be quiet.

"Yosuke isn't here, Chie! And I don't want to see you, for that matter!" screeched Rise.

General sounds of aggravation came from the other side. "Kujikawa, that isn't going to work! Yosuke's bicycle's at Souzai Daigaku, and the owner said he went this way!"

"Um… That's another person's bike!" Rise called back frantically. While Chie started making more frustrated noises, Rise pantomimed opening a window and climbing out of it. Yosuke, somewhat dumb-founded by the entire escapade, nodded like an idiot and climbed out the window swiftly.

"Oh, that's GREAT, Kujikawa, right after you get dumped by Souji, you shack up with another guy?" Chie shouted.

Rise gasped. "WHAT?"

Yosuke couldn't hear anymore of this conversation (nor did he want to), as he was too busy running to a place where he thought Chie was unlikely to go. He settled on Naoto's apartment. He ran back to Souzai Daigaku and retrieved his bike, then biked straight past Chie, ringing his bicycle bell once to alert her to his presence.

Chie glanced over her shoulder, and gritted her teeth and chased after Yosuke.

Yosuke glanced backwards to see Chie with her greaves on, ready to kick much more than Yosuke's privates- though those would inevitably be the first target.

This only gave Yosuke incentive to pedal even faster.

Eventually, Yosuke shook her off, deposited his bike back at his own home, and ducked through shrubberies and trees to get to Naoto's apartment without Chie spotting him.

His phone rang- a text of gratitude from Rise. Yosuke pumped a fist of triumph at being noticed, and knocked on Naoto's door.

"Senpai, have you given thought to my invit-" Naoto said, now staring at Yosuke. "Oh."

"Uh, yeah, Naoto, we need to talk," Yosuke said, upon putting two and two together.

Naoto sighed. "I was sitting down to lunch," said the Detective Prince, irate tone obvious.

Yosuke then became suddenly aware of just how ludicrously hungry he was. Yosuke clutched at his stomach and then looked up apologetically at Naoto.

"Fine," Naoto said, scowling.

Yosuke and Naoto sat down to eat instant ramen. Yosuke briefly wondered why none of the women he knew could cook too well, and then dived into a more serious discussion.

"So. Are you or are you not dating Souji Seta?" Yosuke said in the midst of a mouth of food.

Naoto's blush was enough to confirm Yosuke's suspicions.

"Well crap," Yosuke muttered.

"Why is my love life suddenly so important to you?" asked Naoto, staring coldly at Yosuke.

_Honesty, they say, is the best policy. _"Souji Seta is a philanderer who is dating you, Chie-chan, Rise-chan and if I'm not mistaken, Yukiko-san and Ai Ebihara."

"Are you sure you're not mistaking him for you?" Naoto retorted coldly.

_Whoever said that is a dolt! _"I'm not kidding! Ask Rise-chan, she'll confirm my sto-" Yosuke was interrupted by Naoto striking one of Yosuke's pressure points at the base of the neck.

"You will stop spouting this pointless drivel and get out of my sight," Naoto told him.

Yosuke nodded, thankful that she hadn't decided to just shoot him. He staggered out of Naoto's apartment and wondered what his next move would be. Yosuke then had one of the brightest ideas he'd had in a long time. Yosuke quickly moved through his list of contacts and found the contact he was looking for- Yukiko Amagi. He set her to speed-dial '0' and then actively sought his own demise.

"Yosuke Hanamura!" shrieked Chie.

Yosuke turned around. _Perfect._ Yosuke pushed '0' and was greeted after three rings.

"Hi, Yukiko. Got any plans for tonight?" Yosuke said. Chie stopped dead in her tracks. Yosuke clicked the button for speaker-phone.

"I was actually hoping someone would call…" replied Yukiko with a giggle.

Yosuke smiled a bit sadistically at the clear anguish he'd caused Chie as the gears clicked in her head.

"And who is that person?" Yosuke asked.

The brunettes could almost hear Yukiko blushing. "He wants me to keep it a secret…"

"Thanks, Yukiko, you've been a big help. Oh, and by the way, if Souji happens to invite you over, look under his futon," Yosuke said, clicking to hang up. "**Now** do you believe me?"

The answer Yosuke got was a critical hit to the nads, followed by Chie sobbing her way home. "No good deed goes unpunished," he muttered, hoisting himself off the sidewalk.

Yosuke sighed, and stared at his phone. He didn't know Ai or her phone number, which brought him to square one, except for the part where he was most definitely not at square one. So he decided to talk with Rise, as he was seriously tired of facing a relentless assault of anger and/or 'no, it can't be true!'

_Seriously, no man is THAT perfect, _thought Yosuke bitterly as he walked his way to Marukyu Tofu, bumping into Kanji on the way.

"Yosuke-senpai. What's up?" he asked.

Yosuke decided to be frank. "Well, I was talking with Rise the other night, and apparently she's dating Souji. However, I also talked with Chie a while back and she said they were dating. I also talked with Naoto, who dropped some not-so-subtle hints that she was probably also dating Souji. And then I talked with Yukiko-san a while ago and she may as well have admitted she was dating Souji. In addition, I think Ai Ebihara is also dating Souji."

Kanji blinked. "Um. Okay. Souji really gets around that much?"

"Apparently," Yosuke muttered disdainfully as he knocked on Rise-chan's door. "Oh, by the way, sorry about being an asshole and stuff."

Kanji raised an eyebrow.

"I mean, if I'm crusading for woman's rights, I may as well apologize for being an ass," Yosuke said, winking.

The bleached-blonde boy nodded unsurely and kept walking.

"Seriously, isn't Aiya the other way?" muttered Yosuke to himself. Rise opened the door and peeked an eye out to see Yosuke.

"Come in."

Yosuke peered around Rise's living room- a half empty box of chocolates was sitting on the table and what looked suspiciously like a Spanish soap opera was playing on the TV.

"Um, Rise-chan, there are plenty of other fish in the sea," Yosuke began frantically, worried that the chipper idol would become a very depressed idol.

Rise gazed up at Yosuke, eyes red from all the crying. "I know that, but I just started thinking about it and thinking about it and eventually I thought about Souji-senpai and how nice he was to me and how he saw the real me instead of the fake Risette… and it makes me sad cause he was one of the only people… who I think… e-ever thought th-that way!" Rise said, eventually crying into the pillow behind her.

Yosuke was then flooded with guilt for bringing up a subject which made her cry. "Um, Rise-chan, I don't think of you like that!" Yosuke said, and after saying it, realized that he sounded like a pathetic brown-noser.

Rise continued crying.

_Well, shit,_ thought Yosuke, trying to think of something, anything, for Rise. "Um, um… tomorrow's Christmas Eve, right?"

"A Christmas Eve that I was going to spend with Souji," Rise muttered angrily between bleary sobs.

"Well, uh… why don't you spend it with me?" Yosuke offered, bracing himself for the inevitable rejection. Yosuke himself had planned to hang out with Kanji and Teddie, which weren't very exciting plans when Rise was there.

"Christmas with you?" Rise repeated, as though unsure whether or not he had actually offered that.

"I mean, if you don't want to," he stammered.

"Alright," said Rise with a weak smile.

In Yosuke's head, there were two reactions- one was a party, with full-on streamers, banners, a cake saying, 'GOOD JOB, YOSUKE,' and the other was red flashing lights that hoped Yosuke would have the common sense and tact to not screw this up.

The party won out in the end, as Yosuke basically did a jig all the way across town to get back to his own home.

He was elated. Everything seemed to be going his way- Saki-senpai was avenged, he was going to spend Christmas with Rise, and there might have been a legion of irate Souji girl-friends after him.

Yosuke admitted he could have done without the last part.

The head-phone clad boy arrived back at his house, and was greeted enthusiastically by his room-mate, Teddie.

"Hey, Yosuke! How's today been?" Teddie asked, looking up for the briefest of moments from his fighting game- a bad habit Teddie had picked up from Yosuke.

"It was great!" Yosuke exclaimed, "You wouldn't believe what happened, right? I stopped by the tofu place where Rise works, and she said she'd have me over for Christmas Eve!"

Teddie whistled sharply. "Does this mean you're gonna score?"

Yosuke swore that he heard a musical note at the end of that statement. "It's unlikely that people score on a first date, Ted."

"Yeah, but this is Christmas Eve!" Teddie responded. "Isn't Christmas Eve special?"

"Not as far as I know," Yosuke responded, taking a controller and buzzing into the game- right as Teddie was about to deliver the finishing blow to the final enemy, Teddie told him.

"Well, it's great that Rise-chan paid you any attention at all, considering that Souji is there!" Teddie chirped.

Yosuke bit his lip. "Yeah, we're gonna need to have a talk about that," he told him.

Twenty hours from then, Yosuke was standing at the front door of the Kujikawa residence, a hastily scratched together card and a gift in one arm and a cake in the other.

The door opened- Rise's grandmother. She ushered him in, and Rise greeted him much happier than she was yesterday.

"Hi, Rise-chan. You look better!" Yosuke commented.

Rise smiled warmly and the two went to her room upstairs- fairly basic, a keyboard, a bookshelf, a TV, not much self-indulgence anywhere. And damn, did Yosuke appreciate the Featherman R poster. Yosuke shuddered nervously. _Dude, this is a girl's room! You're in a girl's room! _Susano-o's emotions were aptly described as rolling eyes.

"You play?" Yosuke asked, pointing at the keyboard.

"Not really," Rise admitted, "I got that because I thought I could compose some of my own stuff for once, but…"

"But…?" Yosuke urged.

"Well, let's see if I still have one of them," Rise said, looking through her bookshelf and eventually pulling out a large red binder. She opened it to a tabbed page and pushed it in front of Yosuke. "I'd rather forget it, really… It's kind of embarassing."

Yosuke peered at the music, cringing. He wrote a lot of music, and none of it was ever this bad.

"Long story short, my lawyers were very happy this was caught before I recorded it, and then told me to never write again," Rise said.

"That… Heh." Yosuke said. "You like Featherman R, huh?"

"Yes," she replied enthusiastically. "I was such a fan while I was in middle school, before the talent agents picked me up."

"Do you watch the new series?" Yosuke responded, equally as fan-boyish. "I thought that Featherman Turbo was kind of a cop out, but Ninja Featherman Ultra has such an awesome team, and the fights, and the theme song, and the plot!"

"I only ever watched the original. After that, I had no time," Rise said. "But you said Ninja Featherman Ultra was good?"

"Yeah," Yosuke said, putting his gift on the table between them. "Which ranger was your favorite?"

"Hm…" Rise thought.

"Wait, I got it- you liked the Falcon, right?" Yosuke's thoughts flashed to the Falcon, a big, masculine tough guy who was secretly a big softie.

"Actually, I liked the Owl best," Rise said, two small patches of pink blooming under her eyes. Yosuke thought about the Owl- the Owl was kind of a snarky ass, but he was a good guy.

"Uh-huh… So… I heard you're gonna return to showbiz?" Yosuke asked, uncertain.

Rise smiled brightly. "Yep! Rise Kujikawa is gonna hit the stage! No club will be safe from my catchy tunes!"

"Um… random question, but, did you write any of them?" Yosuke asked bluntly. Rise flushed red- Yosuke had hit bull's-eye.

"W-well… No. But I have people to do that for me!" stammered the idol.

Yosuke sighed, a cocky smile crossing his face. "Rise-san, everybody will love it even more if they knew that you wrote what you sang! It'll make it feel like a more personal, more intimate experience!"

"Well, I guess you're right, but I've never been very good at that kind of stuff," Rise admitted.

"You're in luck!" Yosuke responded. He would have to thank his mother for forcing him to take those piano classes that taught him music composition- that was one thing he really did love doing. And, this could be his break into the mainstream- writing a song for Risette? That would guarantee him a lot of work.

If he was lucky, he might even be able to get out of school on his funds before he had to take third term finals.

And it would finally free him from Junes. All in all? Yosuke really would have to thank his mother.

"Whoa, Yosuke-senpai? You play the piano?"

"And the guitar, I've dabbled in bass, and I can play the trumpet," Yosuke answered, fiddling with a strand of hair.

"That's neat, senpai," Rise complimented.

"Well, uh, anyways!" Yosuke said, blushing openly, "The first part of a good song is the beat, and that sets the tone for everything..."

Yosuke explained the finer points of music composition for roughly an hour, Rise soaking it all up. Susano-o was about to impale himself on his own saw from boredom, though.

"I think I get it, senpai!" Rise exclaimed.

Yosuke smiled. "Lesson's on the house."

"Well, I think you should be repaid at least a little…" responded Rise, inching closer.

_Dude._


End file.
